How do teachers captivate their students? Here, in a feature we call How I Teach, we ask great educators how they approach their jobs. You can see other pieces in this series here.

Wendy Murphy, a longtime second grade teacher and now an instructional coach at Woodmen Hills Elementary near Colorado Springs, believes in keeping parents involved.

That’s true even when they’re serving military deployments overseas.

To keep faraway moms and dads connected to the classroom and their kids, Murphy has done video conferences via Facebook, included them in holiday story recordings and played host to surprise reunions in her classroom.

Murphy talked to Chalkbeat about why parent deployments hit her hard, how she helps students learn about their names and why she’s not afraid to ask for help. She’s one of seven finalists for Colorado’s 2018 Teacher of the Year award, which will be announced Nov. 1.

This interview has been condensed and lightly edited.

Why did you become a teacher?
I absolutely loved my first grade teacher, Mrs. Ann Lane. She gave out the best hugs in the entire world and I wanted to do that, too. One of my favorite memories was looking forward to the end of each day because I knew I would receive that hug from Mrs. Lane no matter what.

Completing classwork was really hard for me and I was always getting into trouble and often off task. Learning to read was a struggle for me that often resulted in tears during daily reading groups. Mrs. Lane believed in me, encouraged me and always taught with a smile. I decided that I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up so I could be just like her.

What does your classroom look like?
My signature color is orange as I am a loyal and true alumnae from Oklahoma State University. Within my orange and black classroom you see a respectful, safe, encouraging and collaborative learning environment. You know mistakes are OK and kindness counts. You hear laughter and a sense of enjoyment and pride in my classroom.

Fill in the blank. I couldn’t teach without my __________. Why?
I couldn’t teach without my heart. I once learned through a training that if you can capture a kid’s heart, you can capture their mind. Incorporating social-emotional learning across all content areas enhances students’ abilities with academic achievement, careers and life. I teach my students self-management and social awareness, build positive relationships and foster responsible decision-making.

What is one of your favorite lessons to teach? How did you come up with the idea?

One of my favorite beginning-of-the-year activities is an author study about Kevin Henkes. We have been reading his books to kick off second grade for over two decades. One memorable activity is completed after we read the book “Chrysanthemum.” The main character is a little mouse named Chrysanthemum and her parents named her after a flower because they feel that it is an absolutely perfect name.

Students write letters to their own parents asking them how they got their name and parents write letters in return. It is so special for students to share the origin of their name with the class. There are a lot of family names, names formed using letters from Mom and Dad’s names as well as Biblical names, too.

Some of the more humorous ones include being named after video game characters and picking the first letter of a name from the middle of the alphabet because they were the middle child. My son is currently in second grade and my husband and I had the opportunity to respond to the letter he wrote to us about his name just a few weeks ago. It truly touched our hearts and his, too.

How do you respond when a student doesn’t understand your lesson?
I try very hard to create a nurturing and safe learning environment where mistakes are part of the process. Students understand that the struggle is where the learning takes place. It is very important for students to review their work and be reflective when something doesn’t quite click in their learning. Together, we adapt, adjust, try again and give it our best shot.

How do you get your class’s attention if students are talking or off task?

I have taught second grade for 17 years. Early in my career, a parent bought me a rainstick during a field trip to the Manitou Cliff Dwellings. It is the coolest thing! Students immediately focus their energy on me when they hear the soft waterfall sound of the rainstick.

How do you get to know your students and build relationships with them? What questions do you ask or what actions do you take?
Fostering positive relationships is definitely a priority in my classroom. I love greeting children with a smile and a handshake each morning at the classroom door. I also look forward to our end of the day dismissal where each person shares a personal connection to a topic or a question asked.

Tell us about a memorable time — good or bad — when contact with a student’s family changed your perspective or approach.
Our school is very proud to serve a large number of military families. Many parents and family members are deployed during the school year. Deployments hit me hard, especially when it is the mamas leaving their babies. Last year, one mother, an E-5 Sargent truly appreciated all of the pictures, newsletters and correspondence I sent through a classroom app. Grandpa even helped us do a Facebook phone conference early in the year. Then, part of our second grade Christmas music performance was a recorded video of different adults reading sections of the story, “Twas the Night Before Christmas.” Our overseas military mama had read the last part of the book on the video-—which was a surprise for her children. It was a truly memorable time for everyone at the performance. (The mother) surprised us again when she ran into the classroom in March — finally home from deployment.

What are you reading for enjoyment?
My name Wendy became popular after the 1904 play Peter Pan. I still love reading the novel “Peter and Wendy” by J. M. Barrie. Some of my other favorites include the Harry Potter series, The Hunger Games series, books by John Grisham and James Patterson, and who can resist the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich? I love reading! Growing up, I would rather have been reading than doing my chores, homework or practicing the piano. My mother used to punish me by taking away my Babysitter’s Club, Choose Your Own Adventure or Nancy Drew books.

What’s the best advice you ever received?
Never be afraid to ask for help. The many demands of teaching can be so intense and stressful. Having a supportive and collaborative team, staff and administration is so important. Be an advocate for yourself, surround yourself with positive people and great things can happen… All you have to do is ask.